What Submission is Not
September 11, 2016

Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-33

I. Submission does not mean that God is arbitrary.

A. Paul gives a command to wives in vs. 22-23: “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” Paul quotes from Genesis 2:24 in vs. 31 about God’s creation of marriage. But Paul says in verse 32 that in a mysterious way this verse is also about Jesus and the church. Paul is saying then that a marriage is not just a marriage. Marriage is also a drama. Marriage is supposed to be a living drama of how Christ and the church relate to each other. Geoffrey Bromiley writes, “As God made man in His own image, so He made earthly marriage in the image of His own eternal marriage with His people.” Jesus shows us the way to submit in 1 Corinthians 15:28: “When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things in subjection under him, that God may be all in all.”

II. Submission does not mean that husbands are dictators; husbands are servant leaders.

A. Jesus is not only the model for wives in submission. He is also the model for husbands in leadership. Verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Jesus is the husband’s example for how to love his wife. How did Jesus love the church? He died for the church. Your wife does not want you to die for her. She wants you to live for her. She wants you to give up the selfish agenda of a dictator. She wants you to be a servant leader like Jesus – a leader who works for the good of both of you as a couple.

III. Submission does not mean agreeing about everything.

A. 1 Peter 3:1: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.” What do the husband and the wife not agree about in this verse? They don’t agree about faith. The wife is a Christian. The husband is not a Christian. They don’t agree then about the most important issue in life. And yet what does Peter tell the wife to do? Submit to her husband. It is possible then for husbands and wives to disagree about very important issues, for the wife not to change her position (after all she was not going to stop being a Christian), and at the same time for the wife to submit to her husband. All these things can fit together.

IV. Submission does not mean wives are ice cubes; wives are snowflakes.

A. Who makes ice cubes? People do. And who makes snowflakes? Only God can make a snowflake. Each snowflake is unique, and each snow flake is beautiful. Husbands who have a false idea about what submission means say they want an ice cube for a wife. “This is what a wife should be. She should fit into this mold and do what I want.” But I have never once heard anyone say about an ice cube, “That is one beautiful ice cube!” Ice cubes are nice – especially on a hot summer day. They give you a cold drink. But ice cubes are not beautiful. They are actually kind of boring. They are all the same. On the other hand, snowflakes are beautiful. Christian wives are individually beautiful snowflakes.

Application:
If you are confused about what submission does not mean, talk to a godly wife or the pastor.

Sources:
The letter to the Ephesians by Peter O’Brien
Sermons by John Piper