Enjoy God, Embrace People, Experience Growth
SUNDAY SERVICES – 8:30am & 10:30am

Lie #7: Marriage is About Me

Scripture: Genesis 2:18-25 | Ephesians 5:25-33

I. Marriage is about your spouse.

A. Your focus in marriage is not about yourself and meeting your own needs. Your focus is on your spouse. The fact that Eve is a helper (Genesis 2:18) means that by definition she is not in this marriage to focus on herself. God created her to help her husband. Eve is a helper just like God is a helper. She is not inferior to Adam. Deuteronomy 33:7: “Hear, O Lord, the voice of Judah, and bring him in to his people. With your hands contend for him, and be a help against his adversaries.” And Adam does not focus on himself either. He focuses on the excellency of his wife (Genesis 2:23). What Adam lacked, Eve supplied.

B What was God’s intention for Adam and Eve in their marriage? Unity (Genesis 2:24).Two selfish me’s learn to think like one unified us in marriage. God commands husbands in Ephesians 5:25 to love their wives, as Christ loved the church. Jesus sacrificed Himself for His church and sought to beautify His bride (Ephesians 5:26-27). Husbands are beauticians. Wives are construction managers who build up their husbands into godly men as they obey the command to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). Build up your husband at every opportunity.

II. Marriage is about Jesus.

A. Husbands and wives not only need to look outward at their spouses. They also need to look upward. Because the reality is that your marriage is about Jesus (Ephesians 5:31-32). God created the universe not just for Adam and Eve and their marriage. God created the universe for the marriage of Christ and His church. Human marriage then is about the marriage of Jesus and His bride the church. Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ’s love for the church. It is through your marriage that people will see the goodness and love of Jesus.

B. Any two people who get married are spiritually broken by sin. And part of being broken by sin is being self-centered. What can heal my marriage? Paul gives the secret (mystery) of marriage in vs. 32. Marriage only works if we follow the pattern of God’s sacrificial love for us in Jesus. If you do for your spouse what Jesus did for the church in the Gospel, the rest will follow in your marriage. The gospel tells us we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe but at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared to hope.

Application:
In the Gospel, God empowers your marriage to look like the marriage of Jesus and the church.

Sources:
The Bible
Timothy Keller “The Meaning of Marriage,” Christopher Ash, “Married for God,” and Ray Ortlund, “Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel.”

Sermon Discussion Questions

  1. Why is focusing on me and my needs a bad idea within marriage? How do we see Adam and Eve focusing on the other in their marriage rather than on themselves?
  2. What is the job of the husband in marriage according to Ephesians 5? And what is the job of the wife? Where does the power come from to live this way?
  3. What is human marriage a picture of (Eph. 5:32)? What makes marriage work according to Ephesians 5?